chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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