i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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