Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
