We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
