So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
