When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
