"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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