Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
