Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
