dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
