Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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