Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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