I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
