so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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