Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize