Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Little spoons don't ask big questions
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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