Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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