nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
