Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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