i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
