Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
