You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
