i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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