The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
