i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
