I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
