sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
