One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize