would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
