how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize