No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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