i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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