and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
