JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
