As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
