: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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