textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
