Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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