I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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