brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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