I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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