You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
