After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize