my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
People in love make me want to vomit
I am spending my child support on dildos
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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