I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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