yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
