There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
