just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
