shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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