She said her name was "party"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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