Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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