I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
