i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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