best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
