Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
