She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize