I got chris browned last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
