I think I am morally bankrupt
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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