she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
