they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
