Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
