last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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