i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Send help, water and tortillas.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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