my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just gift wrapped bread.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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