the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
