it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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