i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
