I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
