ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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